Because the Pope is so muh more bigger than I am.

I apologize. I got small-minded and selfish.

Here at home, the TV's been set on intermittently on on both CNN and BBC for updates on Pope John Paul II as he stepped through the Pearly Gates and into the good company of the Lord Almighty, wherever He or She or It may be. The whole Catholic world deeply mourns the loss of so great a peacemaker. Not everyone may have agreed with his points at some time or the other, but above all he had been the new voice of Peace in the world. He dared put oout into the deep, into places where the Church had never dared set shadow into before. He turned Muslims, Buddhists, Sikhs, Jews and many more into brothers that strove to one common goal, and perhaps even one common face of God. He reached out to the unnoticed, to the little voices in the world and lifted tham up: children, staff memebers, the youth, the poor, and many more. In his weakened state, he even took it upon himself to initiate dialogue between opposing nations. He may not have completely eradicated the horrors of war that still make themselves felt to this day, but Pope John Paul gave all he could to keep peace alive in the world.

He gave the world Hope. He showed the world that Peace was still possible.

Now he's gone, the conclave of cardinals will very soon once more gather together in prayerful vigilance and discernment in deciding who would best assume the Office of the Holy Pontiff. I know all too well that the candidates for the Papacy are human: flawed, imperfect, liable to make mistakes. But then again, maybe Christ also had that in mind when he gave Peter the Keys to the Kingdom, and maybe that's why Christ chose him. We humans are flawed, but it takes something special inside every one of us to keep the world knowing that there is still some good left in it, a kind of good that will look beyond race and creed and social status and wealth, but will look instead at the very heart of the other person, and see God smiling back at Himself.

That, I beleive, is what Popes are really meant to do. Only on a more magnified level.
Popes are not leaders. They are, first and foremost, servants. I think Jesus would have wanted it that way.

"Love each other as I have loved you.
Do as I have done."

The last I heard, the African cardinal has become quite a strong contender for the Papacy. But whoever He may be, I hope and pray he's well aware he has some pretty big boots to fill. I pray, and I hope the rest of the Catholic world prays with me too, that whoever next steps up in line for service of God's flock may be as courageous, as open, as understanding, as peacemaking, and hopefully even more than his predecessor Pope John Paul II.

But that's going to be okay, I guess.

Goodbye, dear Pope. You will be missed indeed.



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Because I'm a silly, short-sighted human being sometimes.

The Pope's just gone to heaven, and here I am moping about nothing of any sort of significance.

It took a CNN special and a scolding form my beloved cousin for me to realize that.

Thanks, Selena. I did ask for it.

Lessons of the Week:

One: I have a right to my anger. If I don't feel like greeting someone or recognizing his presence as a human being because I have a completely legitimate reason, I must not, not even for the sake of dutiful "decency" and human respect. Because frankly speaking, the other party didn't.

Two: Get over the person you hate, yes, but more importantly, get over yourself. You could either lick your wounds open for the rest of your life and waste time and effort bitching over issues six feet below the ground, or simply forget about the insignificant little git and erase it out of your life. Don't turn yourself into one ugly sob-n'-sigh-n'-mope fest over the incident. Feck, even that's giving the &*$%!%^ too much credit.

Three: Be grateful of what makes you happy, and cherish and nurture it. In my case, more apt pronouns would be "who" and "him". No questions asked.

Four: Live your own Life. Do what makes you happy. and never lose the zest and hunger for it, be it reading a good book, spending time with people you love, practicing your craft, cooking for your friends, and wild passionate sex with the one you love. Well, it does make lots of people happy.

Carpe diem, Everyone.